The Reinvention of YOU and ME
By: Freddie Martin Arbuthnot
This is a little book about achieving your
dreams and reinventing yourself as the desire or need arises.
Don’t mistake the word and call it
inter-vention because on TV there is so much about that process; it is reinvention,
a much different concept. Your life was invented, and the time comes when
there is need for a redo or reinvention.
As I think of this notion of reinventing you,
I am reminded of the many times I have reinvented myself, not out of some kind
of passion but because of LIFE. It seems as if our lives change because life
happens and it becomes necessary to reinvent, you because in
order to continue life, it becomes necessary to embark upon a reinvention.
An old friend, John, told me once that he
felt it necessary for most people to have 7 lives in one, reinvent themselves
seven times in their lifetime. It becomes more necessary for a woman than
a man because my generation grew up thinking that, you always go where your
husband goes and find a job, even though your profession might be just as
important as his and of course, there is that little distraction of, the birth
and lives of children.
s friends started their work life and kept
the same job for 40 or more years. My generation was a little more mobile
and each succeeding generation is more and more mobile.
I think that at this time we can make the
decision of reinvention much easier because we have become an electronic world.
We can work from our computers at home as we retrain or educate ourselves for
our dream jobs; doing it all from that little friend of yours called your
laptop. My Mari (my laptop), has taken me through many transitions and
reinventions. We can dream up anything we want and with the help of a few
people and a computer, we can achieve the dream. Anything is possible if
Mari and I work on it. I am so grateful that I am able to live in this
age of the computer.
Since I am a lifelong learner I probably
depend upon Mari much more than most people; if I dream something, I can go to
Mari and begin to educate myself about whatever it is that I am dreaming about,
immediately. I can also write that dream on my vision board and start the
process of attracting it to me. I am almost always taking two classes on
the computer. If I think some class or workshop will help me, I take
it. I do enjoy learning.
I hear people worrying about their college
major; it might not be the correct major for good earning potential, etc. I
usually tell them that very few people end up having a profession that matches
their college major. Find your passion, if you can and go for it!
I find it very sad when a person does not
dream or buries that dream. and they hesitate or cannot come up their
passion or their dream job; I feel so sad for them.
As you can see, I cannot separate the
reinvention of you from working toward achieving your dreams and living your
dream life.
At the age of 79, I continue to dream and
keep educating myself to achieve more dreams. I am happy that I can do
something new, meet new people and learn new things daily.
In order to find the people and things that
will assist you in developing your dream life, you must keep your eyes and ears
open at all times, in other words, always be aware of your surroundings and
take advantage of all that comes your way. You must write out your
thoughts and dreams, you must be flexible and be willing to detour sometimes;
take the long way home. Take advantage of those tiny steps to the
dream.
One of the first things to do is, eliminate
those negative influences in your life. Keep your thoughts and words
positive. Make your words sweet enough that when you have to eat them,
they will be easy to swallow. frequently so that you will not cause someone
to be uncomfortable.
Use a few minutes of your time and write out
a vision statement of your dream life. Look at the statement and figure
out how to make that statement true. Use lots of paper and do a lot of
doodling before you write the statement. It is my belief that journaling
is so important and now with the computer you can also blog. Just writing
something sends the dreams out to the energy field and that is the start of
things happening. That statement seems far out but it has been proven
over and over that speaking and writing things brings them to you.
Building dream posters: if you want a new
car, go to the dealership and have your picture made in the new car then post
it on your dream poster. If you want a home, find one you want and take a
picture of you opening the door, etc. Anything that you can get a picture of
that is a dream, do it. Just the words: I have peace, joy, happiness,
love, abundance, etc. written several places in your home, in your automobile,
in your office; anywhere you frequent, will give power to your life reinvention
plan.
Whenever there is a detour in your life; find
what positive things can come from it. Become homeless: decide that you
will make it a positive for achieving a dream, loss of a job can be an
opportunity to find your passion and now you have time to educate yourself for
that dream. Even if you are depressed about these losses, start that doodling,
writing, meeting new people, etc. so you can start over and reinvent your life.
It is difficult but try being grateful for the loss.
Many times, in order to live, you must do
jobs you do not enjoy but I believe that in each of those jobs you can find
something positive. Each time I had to take detours in my life, I found
things in the jobs to enjoy and learn and people who could assist me later in
life.
Forgiveness is so important in your journey
to your dreams. Bitterness and the unforgiving spirit can be our very
worst enemies in life. Happiness, in my opinion, cannot be achieved
unless we have a grateful and forgiving spirit. Are there people you need
to forgive?
Make small steps daily that lead to a
dream. Being grateful and forgiving is the first step every day, start
your day with that attitude.
I have also found that these people never
achieve happiness, it is sad to watch this greed and know that they are not
climbing to a dream, just climbing for greed. No happiness can be achieved if
you hurt others when you are reaching for your dreams, unhappiness and illness
will be the only things achieved. is so true. I think it was Zig Zigler
who said: your achievement is proportion to how many people you help achieve
what they want. Money is not the same as happiness; never make the
mistake of thinking that if you had money you would be happy. A large
percentage of people who have money are not happy.
You may be pleasantly surprised to find that
sometimes this reinvention does not cost you anything, moneywise, just some
time and planning.
Unlike my reinventions, I hope yours will be
free will choices instead of life forcing you to reinvent yourself. If
you do have to reinvent yourself because of the happenings of life, accept it
as an opportunity for growing. If happenings in life give you a nudge and you
are forced to change your life, make the reinvention and express gratitude for
the opportunity. Be grateful for all the opportunities you have in life.
Even if the opportunity does not seem as if it is a positive for your life,
express gratitude and it will become a positive part in your life.
Writing a Plan for Reinventing
Your life
You may wonder why you would need to reinvent
your life, here are some reasons:
- Unhappy with your life
- Loss of a job
- Having to take a detour in life
- Retirement
- Life is not fulfilling
- Spare time, Restless
- Change in Status or finances
- Feel that it is time to pursue your dream
- Death of a family member or spouse
- A family member with chronic illness or disability
- . Your decisions most often depend upon whether or not you love and trust yourself. It is very important for you to love and trust yourself or you will be self destructive in your approach to this dream life/reinvention. s see some steps to your happiness/reinvention plan:
- Find a spot to dream, a quiet place that is pleasant and with good lighting.
- Tools: some books, a legal pad, pens/pencils, calendar, a journal
- Start doodling; jotting down ideas, dreams, passions, past hobbies, present hobbies, interests that you buried deep in your heart.
- Decipher your doodling and make a list of the dreams and passions
- Make an imagination poster
- Write a vision statement
- Set some dates for achieving some of your dreams: “I will sign a contract for a home on…….”
- Make a list of educational things that you must do
- Make a list of the people who will help you
- Write names of people who can share your dreams This exercise may take several weeks but keep working it and making your plan. If you need the assistance of a life coach, search for one that you like or you may just need someone to listen to you bounce your ideas around. Just do it! Procrastination is your worst enemy. don't put anything off, start immediately. ” One of your dreams may be improvement of health and wellness. If this is true, you must write out a separate plan for this, however, your wellness quotient goes up as you achieve dreams and become happier. Happiness causes some illness to disappear. A smile or laughter can cause symptoms to disappear and that is very inexpensive medicine, in fact, it is free. . pack up your troubles in your ole kit bag and smile, smile and smile. A Plan for Wellness I do not consider myself an expert in many things but in this one I consider myself a real expert. I listen to my body, tweak it and keep it well. I go to bed without a pain and get up without pain, I have not visited a traditional medical physician in many years and have not taken, even an over the counter drug in the past 15 to 20 years. I have had a Medicare Card for 14 years and have never used it. I use energy medicine, exercise, homeopathic medicine, supplements, good food, fun, play, laughter and all the modalities of healing that I need. You are responsible for your wellness or illness. As in any plan, you need a team. Here is a list of a possible team:
- A health professional that you trust; being certain to change people if you do not like their ideas.
- Naturopath
- Oriental Medicine professional
- Chiropractor
- Massage therapist
- Professionals from the Energy Medicine field of study
- Wellness Coach
- Foundation Training
- Bowenwork specialist
- Bio Energy professional
- NAET for allergy elimination
- Biofeedback professional
- Homeopathic physician
- Good source of organic food Each of these professionals may be of help to you in your quest for ultimate wellness. Laughing and playing are the most important things you can do for your wellness, and that is free. When you start trying to reinvent your body, be aware that your body can completely replace itself in about a year. Each cell becomes new within a year; your brain is the last to become new. Start and keep working on your body so that you build healthy cells not deformed ones. I am so passionate about everyone being well and living a life without discomfort, I make it my focus every day to help someone have that happy, healthy life. Your attitude is so important in every area of your reinvention. You are responsible for your own, Happiness so true. You cannot trust anyone to make you happy; it is your job to make, you, happy. There are no frogs to kiss and no prince on the white horse just waiting to make you happy, and no magic wands to wave, YOU are responsible. In my daily life I hear so many people that try to blame others for their unhappiness. I hear the phrases; I could do it if only they, or he, would do this or that. I would like to take those words out of your vocabulary; your happiness is not in the hands of family, friends, neighbors or enemies: your happiness is in your hands only. So choose happiness now! it is my choice, now and in the future. I would also suggest that you write your definition of happiness and give it a good look to find out your true thoughts about happiness. What do you think leads to your happiness. these people, because they will pull you down to their thinking, if you allow them the opportunity. Do not associate with negative thinking individuals! Self centeredness is very high on the list of things that make people unhappy, thinking only of you and not being of service to others. Most people who are happy are doing things that help others. Being selfish is very toxic for your body, mind and soul. Everyone is happier when they associate with positive and fun loving people. It is never a good idea to spend all your time alone or with grumpy people. Volunteer for an organization you like and make other people happy. Get what you want by helping others get what they want.
- Obstacles There are a few obstacles that are not easy to overcome:
- Needs of people who are dependents
- Spouse disagreement
- Family and friends needs Many of these obstacles can be overcome with planning and diplomacy, good communication skills. It is easier if you can put yourself in their shoes and know why they feel as they do. t be selfish in your approach to your reinvention plan. Preplanning and knowing how to overcome objections is important. You must be very careful when your plans will have an effect on the lives of others. They have dreams, too. Be ready to give and take; be flexible, in other words, be a good sales person and sell your plan. But planning ahead is critical to the sales pitch. I want to go live in Central America, I then remembered that I did not have a passport so I began the process of getting my passport. Just a dream not a plan until we take steps to get there. Begin asking yourself some questions about why you could not start your reinvention tomorrow and put together a fix for the hurdle that you must jump over.
- Evaluation Frequently evaluate how you are doing and ask yourself what you are doing daily toward this reinvention, Maybe you need to get your passport.. You may also find that you are afraid and that fright has slowed your steps to making the reinvention happen. Maybe you are not making use of the people who are waiting to help you or maybe you do not have the correct mind set. Use your journal to help you make the evaluation of your progress. Be faithful in keeping your journal and reading the past entries in your journal. Evaluation is so important to success; we have to keep track of how we are doing so we can tweak our plans and do a better job taking the steps in the reinvention process. Use meditation so you can listen to your body and sometimes a thought will come to you and let you know what you need to do to make your program go forward. Sometimes when you look back you will find that you have moved forward much more rapidly than you thought.
- The many reinventions in ME
- Growing up a very shy little girl
- Went to college
- Nursing was my passion so went to Nursing School and became a Registered Nurse. .
- A bit bored so took a sabbatical and became a summer camp nurse, while there found my husband
- Traditional Medicine and Nursing care changed and I had children
- Youngest child had illness so I trained as a preschool teacher and developed preschool programs
- Needed money for children’s college so became the administrator of a Health Care Center.
- Husband has brain cancer and became blind so I needed a job with more time at home
- Employee health nurse for industry
- Death of husband: children: 2 in college, one in high school and one in elementary school
- Took on several part time jobs such as beauty consultant, etc.
- Home burned and necessary to move.
- Sell real estate, catering, other sales jobs and back to nursing jobs too
- Working as Employee Health Nurse and also running a couple of businesses until a partner caused me to become almost bankrupt
- Kids finished school so I could delete some of my businesses and retire from nursing.
- Wanted to move to Texas to live near my granddaughter, a very fun job with “Build a Bear” and photo tech for one hour photo.
- Needed to move to care for my daughter’s mother in law and also worked in retail sales for income. Met new people and learned new things.
- took care of my son's ranch in Arizona for 3 months then came back to sales jobs and being a hostess in a restaurant
- I rescue animals (one of my passions), teach holistic wellness classes and do life coaching. I continue to learn and do new things every day. Money wise, I am poor but my life is very rich. This little summary gives you an idea of how often you sometimes have to reinvent yourself. I could write a book on all the jobs I have had, I enjoyed some parts of every job and learned a great deal in every reinvention. Last year I decided that our area needed more information on holistic wellness so I planned and led a Holistic Wellness Conference, putting together all the speakers, arranging the event with the hotel, registering the people who attended and was the MC. I had the help of friends, too. The Holistic Wellness Conference was my dream and I am planning a larger one this spring. Every job I had has helped me in the planning, promotion and the leading of this conference; my dream. I am still dreaming and learning to do organic gardening, homeopathic medicine and writing. Every time I reinvent my life or go for a new dream, I learn new things and expand my mind. Adapter newprinciples in my life and enjoyed a little Kindle book: E squared. I used some ideas in that book to get some things I wanted. A workshop in the bio energy method of healing called Domancic, I wanted to learn it so kept it in my intention and a friend found a way for me to attend, free. I wanted to attend the Weston A Price conference in Atlanta, I placed that in my intentions and was able to go as a volunteer and was chosen to introduce two of my favorite healers: Dr. Nick Gonzalez and Dr. Tom Cowan. These happenings were in 2013, just before my 79 birthday. I do not discard any thing that can benefit me or the people I love. I receive a great deal of happiness from helping others reach milestones in their life and achieve their dreams. As a Registered Nurse, it was difficult for me to open my thinking and consider such things as energy medicine and the law of attraction but I read the research and give it all a try. Many times I think about what Dr. Norm Shealy has done and start expanding my thinking. Some people think I am a crazy old lady but I am happy and well: most of them are unhappy and ill. That said, I think I will sit, have a cup of hot coffee and smile, smile, smile. In fact, I am a certified life coach, RN, an ordained minister and I have enough certifications so that I could cover a wall. Everything that I can take classes in free or cheap, I do and I am certified, not expert, but certified. I have a doctorate in Energy healing and could call myself, Dr. Freddie Martin Arbuthnot. You do have to be aware that everyone who tells you how to do something may not be any better than your neighbor, just check them out before you put you in their hands, YOU are responsible for YOU. I have rambled on and must shut up; you can see why some people think that I am Chatty Kathy. They sometimes wish that my string would break or my battery would wear out.Two years I have tried to assist the people of Northwest Arkansas become well and happy, I had less than half the attendance to the conference that I expected so after the Holistic Lifesaving Conference, I am making a statement: Time for another reinvention of the life of Freddie Martin Arbuthnot and between April and my 80th birthday October 7, 2014, I am going to reinvent my life again and you the reader can follow my progress. One of the things that must be done is to eliminate every thing from my life that does not have meaning an enhance my life.Starting with uncluttering my life; getting rid of everything I own that does not add value to my life. I recently read a book on my Kindle called: Everything that Remains, A memoir by the minimalists. This little book seemed to “light up my brain”. I decided that I needed to take some of the ideas from that book and expand them and start my reinvention. Since I spent all my money on the conference, I need to build up my bank account to do some of the things, but I will start by throwing away every thing in my house that does not add value to my life and have it ready to throw away when I can afford to rent a dumpster to absolutely rid myself of these things that are unnecessary for my life. Things that have to remain with me are my animals because no one wants them, that is the reason they are here but I will not take any new animals and will eliminate them as soon as possible. (do you really believe that statement)....I will be blogging about my progress on www.freddiemema.blogspot.com and will invite everyone who is interested to my birthday party to learn about the steps I have taken to eliminate everything from my life that does not add value to it. I will publish in book form and also as a Kindle book. I will have the book ready for signing at my birthday bash. So I will start now, one of my favorite things is teaching so I do not think it necessary to give that up and I think that Cardinal, Royals, Rangers baseball adds value so I will not eliminate that part of my life. I will eliminate lots of people who do not add value to my life, would not add value to most people’s lives and does not add to my life.As I start it overwhelms me so I must organize it so that I eat the elephant; “one bite at a time”. I will find out tomorrow when Soul’s Harbor is having their yard sale, Souls Harbor is a house of men who are in transitional living and re inventing their lives. They have been my charity for some time and I will also use their labor when I can afford to hire help. I did find that they are not having a sale for a while so I will donate my “stuff” to Goodwill Industries or Salvation Army. They did indicate that they would like to have my baby goats, but will have to do some planning; such as a shelter, water, food , etc.Old electronics are a problem; I have about a dozen non-working printers and several additional old electronics.Indicating how hard this job is; Lonna went to St. Louis and saw a Cardinal game, coming back with a bag of memorabilia to add to my clutter, not that it isn’t nice, just don’t need it right now.Starting with the utility room, bathrooms and closets; I already have 5 large boxes of ‘stuff’ to donate and 6 large bags of trash and have not really shown much progress. I am beginning to phase out a lot of my “free” services to people who do not appreciate me or at least they do not show any appreciation. for my services.Last week it was necessary for me to start in the kitchen, gradually all my appliances are not functioning so I have to get the kitchen cleaned enough to get a repair man into it and put away some funds to pay the fellow. My oven has been dead for several years, the overhead light has a little element out that I cannot replace, have not be able to to use it for several months, the garbage disposal has not worked for several months and last week the dishwasher quit pumping the water out. So I have to clean the space that the cats and I share.Just clearing the ‘under the sink’ area was terrible and I already have my garbage pail full for the week. I realize that I am too old for this as I hate house cleaning and I need money so I can hire people to do work like this; maybe a slave is the answer but it certainly would not please law enforcement, if I had a slave. I do know some women who married slaves and they make good use of him and visa versa, many women are slaves to a husband too. It just does not seem to be an option for me, so guess that I had better, “Just Do It” or as the old slogan that I used to use when I was working… DIN, DIN; Do it now, Do it now…..
- CONTINUING ON AND ON AND ON....
- This shy little girl who did not express herself verbally until she went to college, is very verbal. It is my hope that you have learned some things that will assist you in achieving dreams and reinventing your life. I think this book has practical easy to follow advice. If I can be of further assistance please e-mail me: freddiemema@hotmail.com
- About the Author: As a lifelong learner she uses published material in order to tell others about the things she is learning. Information on her website: www.memasramblings.com is free to download. In order to provide more avenues for learning and dispensing information, she is an ordained minister and has become certified in many modalities of healing including Life Coaching. Her self-published books and Kindle books are available on www.amazon.com.
