Friday, July 18, 2014

I feel the need......

I am feeling that I need to accomplish something, anything.  Maybe I just do not want to put enough energy into that something to get the satisfaction of accomplishing that something. 
It seems that I am letting my life get dull and I feel that I need to be working toward some goals and also I am needing to feel more passionate about life.  Part of my feeling comes from the attendance in my class yesterday, very poor and I spend so many hours getting prepared and the money I spent on getting there... just seems so fruitless..
I did enjoy going to my grandson-in-laws birthday dinner which Lonna paid for but did I add anything to anyone's life?  Did I do anything that will matter to anyone?  Just thinking and maybe my thinking is somewhat messed up just to be always thinking of what good I am doing in this world.  I visited Carman P. as she requested but I really doubt that she will follow through with any of my suggestions to get her life back on track, did I give any info in class that will benefit anyone who was there?  I did not earn any money yesterday, my feelings are not based on anything that is realistic thinking but it does not make me feel any better, just because I know that.  I have taken care of all  my animals, washed my dishes, done a load of laundry and had my third cup of coffee and I still feel the need to just lie down, read a book and do nothing, that can't be good.
I need to finish decluttering my space but I have no passion for that today. 
OMG I am whining and I hate whiners.

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