Thursday, December 11, 2014

I am so unhappy with my choices that I must write. Many, many  weeks ago, a friend? neighbor? maybe just acquaintance, messaged me that she needed to find a temporary place for her jack Russell terrier mix that she could no longer keep. "would I keep her for a couple of weeks while she found a home for her?" She said that within 2 weeks she would find a home for her and that she would give me money for the food, etc. that was required for her existence.  I know that everyone sees a sign on me that says, "I am a doormat, walk on me every chance you get." but I guess that is a choice that I made some time ago, just to be a door mat.
I could not remember the dogs name when I needed to correct her (many, many times) so Ebola being the most popular choice of words at the time, became her name, she was very food aggressive so really would have not survived  in a shelter because it would be immediate death chamber for her.  I finally trained her not to be food aggressive, and after many destroyed electrical cords, she has finally quit eating them but she is still very hard to deal with and has just about completely destroyed my patience. Most of may dogs do not want her near them and when a guy offered to take her as an "outside dog", I should have said yes but I do not believe that there are pets that are outside all the time. I wish I did not have to close off the rest of the house when I sleep (if I don't, she will destroy something) If she were an only dog or with just one other dog she could be trained but not in my household. 
As the old saying goes, "I made my bed and I have to lie in it", "I make my own choices in life".  and I believe in those old sayings but it does not help the situation at this point, in addition to being so disappointed in other people, I have really made a big mistake, this time.
At the time, since  I was not born yesterday, I knew I was being used but everyone knows that I cannot stand to see a dog unloved or destroyed and they know my soft spots. 
Ebola is happy but I am very unhappy and stressed out!! I had no idea that at 80 years of age, I would be living such a life but, I made my choices, as bad as they are....

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