I have not been able to write because my very best friend, my Yorkie Harry, died this week. He was only 9 years old and ever since he got him he has been my constant companion and my confidant. I do not believe his life should have ended. He came to me at a very lonely time in my life and we have been together day and night. He did no tricks but he did plant a kiss on my face when I asked him if he loved me, he knew when to come to me and let me rub his butt, he knew when I got dressed that he had better be ready for a ride in the car, he knew that when we were outside in the front yard together which order the shrubs had to be wet down with a hike and he knew that he was not a real dog like the others. We did not visit people who did not like him and I knew when he was not wanted. Now my life is full of "if onlys". If only I had not let them give him all those vaccines, if only I had not had the first tumor removed and just started him on my treatments, if only I had fed him filtered water, if only I had thought about it when his cataract started and known that I needed to get rid of his free radicals, I started him on supplements for preventing more cataracts but did not get a zapper at that time, etc, etc., etc. There are so many if onlys that I go over in my head constantly. I feel so guilty that I did not do more to make his life longer, it does not help for people to say, "He had such a good life" He should still be here. He meant so much to me and I miss him terribly. I can't even do my daily routines because Harry was a part of everything I did. I buried him in my flower bed and planted new flowers in it.